I guess this is the part where I introduce myself to cyberspace, right? Hmm. I am using the alias Lynn. Female. 20's. Non smoker. Occasional drunk.
Now that introductions are out of the way, I have to say I feel like a dumbass talking to myself. I mean really, that's essentially what a blog is. Talking to yourself, and sometimes some unfortunate soul will stumble upon your mindless rants, might comment on them, and then and only then will you feel like you are talking to someone and not just to the voices in your head. *sigh* Life is funny sometimes.
Everyone needs something that is personal, private, uniquely theirs. As a kid, my whore of a mother read my diaries. I guess most parents do, but not all parents use it against their children. The only thing back then I could really call mine where MY thoughts, MY feelings, MY words. She took what I thought she would never be able to take and used it against me. My weak spot. What a bitch. Life is a series of drunken episodes, followed by a bunch of shit in the middle. I would drink more, except I have a family and I need to be the example. I had a real winner of a family, drunk mom.. asshole dad.. bitch sister.. retarded brother. When I had my own family, I swore I would never be like HER. I hate knowing that something inside of me will always be LIKE HER. I will always want another beer, I will always crave another fix, I will always thrive on the fake sense of love and attention I get by sleeping around. I don't act on these impulses, but I could. Alcohol, drugs, and sleeping around don't equal a good mother, therefore I refrain. And so, here I am. Sitting in the dark, listening to the rain. So, let it rain.. let it pour.. wash away this depression.
